Dear Dick,

Hey, boo, what you been into? Hopefully nothing or at least not too much. I know it's hard to stay out of things but it's really easy for you to end up in the wrong hands or worse. Some of you get into anything you can. It's not good to jump into every opportunity that opens up to you. It's definitely not good to force yourself into any, either. You know good things come to those who wait, and like that Levert song says, I Been Waiting! You can be such a sucker. Most of you think alike, but I'm glad you don't all act the same. You be careful! There are girls named Vagina everywhere that will invite into their spaces. Check 'em out good. See what else they're about. Make sure they aren't the kind that will open themselves up to every opportunity. You talk about how hard you are but that's when you're most stupid and unable think right. Your blood isn't flowing correctly at that time. God forbid you've been drinking, then everything looks good. That's really when you'll get into just about anything if you haven't grown up.
Speaking of drinking, it's good I don't do much of that anymore. That's when I couldn't wait to get my hands on you! That liquid courage is something else! God has truly kept me when I've hung around some of you carelessly in that state mind.
How are your nutty friends? They retain a lot of fluids, don't they? You know what's funny about them? (chuckle) They don't mind being juggled and sharing a woman with you, even though some of you like to have more than one woman at a time. (shaking my head) Are your nutty friends hairy? What about you? Nothing wrong with it as long as it's tamed. That doesn't just go for Vagina, you need to keep things in order, too. Especially if you want to be able to take a good licking.
Well, I'm not going to keep you. I know you can have a short attention span. When we get together, though, I'm going to need your undivided attention, okay?
Gosh I love you!

Signed,
Me