Sick Over You

Dear Dick,

Last night I had a long talk with my girl Vag' about you. I was preparing her for the fact that we have to do without you until only God knows when. She has feelings of her own but she needs to understand that your inconsistencies and your inability to please us the way we deserve will keep us apart from you because you have such a hard time committing. I told her about how bitter you get over one woman and just go hard, with no emotion at all for the rest of us. It's not an easy thing for us to swallow. We're just sick over you. She loves and misses you, too. She broke out into a hot sweat and kept having spasms. She was just throbbing in pain. Her identical twin upstairs neighbors (the girls whose names both start with "T") feel the void in her life, also. We keep you up and you let us down. We give and you take. Well, you give, too, but then you pull out like it's nothing. You go all in and then leave us feeling empty. That, does not, a healthy relationship, make. While that neighbor, the asshole, could just give a shit.
I do hope you'll learn to put in only where you can get more than a few thrills. I'll keep writing you and maybe I'll touch you somewhere deep within and you'll change. I won't hold my breath. I only do that when I kiss you. Until next time...

Love,
Me