Lionel Richie Kenny Rogers - LADY - MGM Red Carpet 13

Dear Dick, 



My life would be near complete if you'd just dedicate this song to me...and have Lionel Richie and/or Kenny Rogers sing it to me. That's not too much to ask for, is it? I mean, you've finally grown into a real man and we're on a new path... No? Too much, too fast? sigh

Alright, we'll just enjoy the video.



Love,



Me

Still Learning

Dear Dick,

You know, sometimes you have been hard on me. Sometimes you've been too soft. You've often given me your best and your worst but from the worst of you I have learned and am still learning valuable lessons. Lately I've been writing a lot more and it was a time when I we only had mental contact that you gave me the most. One time you said to me that "whatever it is you want to do most in life, as your career, you should devote the amount of time that you would working in a day developing that craft." I don't even know why I allowed you to appeal to me at that time but it was things like that which made me allow you to be around and why I like to keep you around. You ooze with a different substance that I just can't get from my well-meaning sister-friends. Another reason why I love you and will never give up on you. I seem distant from you, like I don't want to be bothered with all of you, but I know that I was created just for you. 
I silently watch you in the distance. Everything you do is for us or because of us. If you act like a butt-hole, it is often because of a woman. When you show off, it is because of womankind. When you are trying to be impressive it is only because you want us. I know this. 

I still miss you, but I'm still learning. I'm not just growing older, I'm growing wiser. You keep growing, too, and someday we'll be together again. 

I'm going to workout and try to keep things tight for you.

Love, 

Me

Queue Taps

"Day is done. Gone the sun..." 

You get the picture. No, it's not the end of the world and the Sun will rise again, but my romantical love life is dead, kinda, a little bit, almost, in a way, it seems. Thank God life ain't always what it seems. I could just look at it as a hiatus. Yeah, that's it. ...a break. It's not broke...n. It still works. sigh Dear old Dick is just who he is, doing what he does, but I'm not counting the days...or months. I'm keeping track of the years, though. 

I've put myself back in counseling. I see dating and relationship expert Steve Ward on a somewhat regular basis, whenever a season of Tough Love is airing on VH-1. I felt like a bad, Black comedienne and actress for not having seen the movie Think Like A Man, so I accidentally got a refresher session while watching that, too. Burned my britches to know I'm still making a couple of my biggest mistakes, so I'm glad Dick and I have been distant.

Dear Dick,

I don't miss you nearly as much as I used to miss you. I know you're always there. Heck, you're hanging around everywhere I go. I'm not checking for you or anything. I just know you'll be there when I'm ready for you. 

I still have nothing but love for you. 

Until we meet again...

Love, 

Me

HAPPY NEW YEAR...5 MONTHS LATER

Dear Dick,

Hey dude, how's it hanging? ...or should I be asking you are you still standing strong? From where I sit it seems to me you've been laying low but always looking for the opportunity to get into some deep stuff. You always get in over your head. I hope you have given yourself some time to breathe, as I have. I know you like to keep a clear head and that you aren't responsible for your own buildup, but waste not, want not. 

It's been about six months since I've written but I'm still here for you. I only play for your team. I still look forward to the days we see each other on a more regular basis. Until then, I can only pray you'll practice some restraint. If you must release some tension, I hope you take matters into your own hands and not put yourself in a tight spot that you can't get out of.I hope to be in touch again one day soon.

Still...
Me

Still Long Time No See

Dear Dick,

Wow, it has been a long time since I have written you. I had to get you off my mind and take care of some really important things like making sure when the right one of you comes along that I have more to offer than a pretty face, an awesome personality, charming wit, good cooking skills, warmth, kindness and generosity - man, I am such a great package already - so I thought I should get a job and keep my place of residence. I didn't even miss you for a while, but I have been thinking about you again, a lot lately. Mostly late at night when I'm trying to fall asleep alone in a king sized bed. I would much rather roll over into you than into a cold spot. That's pretty much the only void in my life, yet I'm whole. I got a lot accomplished when you didn't enter my... thoughts. While everything is going great in my life, there is still room for you. I only think of you as a companion mostly, but I desire a strong companion that knows how to lead and also be supportive. I don't need you trying to get all up in my...'girly business'. You mean so  much more to me than just...'that'.
I often overhear people discussing how they don't want the pressure of a commitment but they want a sex life. Now that is pressure to me: pressure of having to get to know someone well enough to feel good when with them, but not grow any feelings toward wanting to spend a great deal of time with them. I thought I was backwards, but nope. Gosh, I get closer to being perfect everyday. You should recognize that. 

Well, I'm going to let you go now and write you again real soon. 

Love,
Me

I can't believe it's over...for now.

I'm pretty devastated. I have secretly been in this relationship...well, an affair based on, um, finances you could say. I've been seeing someone for many years and now it's over...as I know it. It's all because of this stupid economy. Money causes so many problems in relationships. We all know that. Anyway, I'd been seeing this guy for several years. I never got to go to his place. He'd always come to me, so... Anyway, every time I'd hear him pulling up to my apt building I would run to  greet him at my door, sometimes from the balcony, with great anticipation. We saw each other almost everyday for weeks, months on end. We both relocated from foreign lands - he's from Mexico and I'm from Ohio - so holidays were when we needed and saw each other the most...and then we'd take a break. We never lost touch, though. Sometimes we spent more time in each others' company than others. But a couple of years ago it kind of cooled off. I had lost my job. We still saw one another on occasion and he was always so sweet and giving, but sometimes he'd act like he didn't have anything for me anymore. Well, today I saw him. I approached him and told him that I didn't like not seeing him the way I used to and he blamed me. And then he informed me he's back with his wife and they just found out she's expecting. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? AND THEY PLANNED IT! What could I say?
I wanted to explain to him that it's not my fault that the economy took the turn it did and kept me from shopping online as much as I used to do. What I wouldn't give to go on Dooney & Bourkes clearance, or QVC and HSN online and just GO CRAZY...but I can't afford to do that anymore. So he has no reason to come see me anymore. The UPS man. Joaquin, I miss you. I hope before I leave this apartment you and I can rekindle what we once had.

99 Problems But Dick Ain't One

Dear Dick,

You have been trying to find your way back into my life again recently and I am just not on you right now. It's not a bad thing nor a good thing, it's just my thing and I'm gon' do what I want to do. You can't tell me who to sock it to. You don't dick-tate anything around here.
I have money problems from being out of regular work for too long. I have emotional problems from being alone for too long. Being away from you - not a big problem. Sometimes you come with big problems. (And the more plentiful you are, sometimes the bigger you are, the worse. More Dick, more problems.) You want too much too soon, you need too much too soon, but you're rarely able to give as much or only able to give under certain conditions - conditions different for me and Vag'. A snake can still slither in the desert but dry is a not desirable condition for us warm blooded, bipedal primates. It is much better when the atmosphere is dripping and jumping with excitement. I haven't come into personal contact with anyone of you who can maintain the proper communication, show the consistent attention, display the right amount of generosity on all levels or all-around growth to help bring about those conditions for me. Until you do I'll continue to share my bed and fill my life with other things, and not be a whore-der trying to be close to or find the right one of you.
If you aren't part of my solution, you're not going to be my problem. I got ninety-nine problems, but Dick, you won't be one.

Love (still),
Me