Dear Dick,
Wow, it has been a long time since I have written you. I had to get you off my mind and take care of some really important things like making sure when the right one of you comes along that I have more to offer than a pretty face, an awesome personality, charming wit, good cooking skills, warmth, kindness and generosity - man, I am such a great package already - so I thought I should get a job and keep my place of residence. I didn't even miss you for a while, but I have been thinking about you again, a lot lately. Mostly late at night when I'm trying to fall asleep alone in a king sized bed. I would much rather roll over into you than into a cold spot. That's pretty much the only void in my life, yet I'm whole. I got a lot accomplished when you didn't enter my... thoughts. While everything is going great in my life, there is still room for you. I only think of you as a companion mostly, but I desire a strong companion that knows how to lead and also be supportive. I don't need you trying to get all up in my...'girly business'. You mean so much more to me than just...'that'.
I often overhear people discussing how they don't want the pressure of a commitment but they want a sex life. Now that is pressure to me: pressure of having to get to know someone well enough to feel good when with them, but not grow any feelings toward wanting to spend a great deal of time with them. I thought I was backwards, but nope. Gosh, I get closer to being perfect everyday. You should recognize that.
Well, I'm going to let you go now and write you again real soon.
Love,
Me
ANGEL
2 hearts that see as one
Friday, November 16, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
I can't believe it's over...for now.
I'm pretty devastated. I have secretly been in this
relationship...well, an affair based on, um, finances you could say.
I've been seeing someone for many years and now it's over...as I know
it. It's all because of this stupid economy. Money causes so many
problems in relationships. We all know that. Anyway, I'd been seeing
this guy for several years. I never got to go to his place. He'd always
come to me, so... Anyway, every time I'd hear him pulling up to my apt
building I would run to greet him at my door, sometimes from the balcony, with great anticipation.
We saw each other almost everyday for weeks, months on end. We both
relocated from foreign lands - he's from Mexico and I'm from Ohio - so
holidays were when we needed and saw each other the most...and then we'd
take a break. We never lost touch, though. Sometimes we spent more time
in each others' company than others. But a couple of years ago it kind
of cooled off. I had lost my job. We still saw one another on occasion and he was always so
sweet and giving, but sometimes he'd act like he didn't have anything
for me anymore. Well, today I saw him. I approached him and told him
that I didn't like not seeing him the way I used to and he blamed me.
And then he informed me he's back with his wife and they just found out
she's expecting. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? AND THEY PLANNED IT! What could I
say?
I wanted to explain to him that it's not my fault that the economy took the turn it did and kept me from shopping online as much as I used to do. What I wouldn't give to go on Dooney & Bourkes clearance, or QVC and HSN online and just GO CRAZY...but I can't afford to do that anymore. So he has no reason to come see me anymore. The UPS man. Joaquin, I miss you. I hope before I leave this apartment you and I can rekindle what we once had.
I wanted to explain to him that it's not my fault that the economy took the turn it did and kept me from shopping online as much as I used to do. What I wouldn't give to go on Dooney & Bourkes clearance, or QVC and HSN online and just GO CRAZY...but I can't afford to do that anymore. So he has no reason to come see me anymore. The UPS man. Joaquin, I miss you. I hope before I leave this apartment you and I can rekindle what we once had.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
99 Problems But Dick Ain't One
Dear Dick,
You have been trying to find your way back into my life again recently and I am just not on you right now. It's not a bad thing nor a good thing, it's just my thing and I'm gon' do what I want to do. You can't tell me who to sock it to. You don't dick-tate anything around here.
I have money problems from being out of regular work for too long. I have emotional problems from being alone for too long. Being away from you - not a big problem. Sometimes you come with big problems. (And the more plentiful you are, sometimes the bigger you are, the worse. More Dick, more problems.) You want too much too soon, you need too much too soon, but you're rarely able to give as much or only able to give under certain conditions - conditions different for me and Vag'. A snake can still slither in the desert but dry is a not desirable condition for us warm blooded, bipedal primates. It is much better when the atmosphere is dripping and jumping with excitement. I haven't come into personal contact with anyone of you who can maintain the proper communication, show the consistent attention, display the right amount of generosity on all levels or all-around growth to help bring about those conditions for me. Until you do I'll continue to share my bed and fill my life with other things, and not be a whore-der trying to be close to or find the right one of you.
If you aren't part of my solution, you're not going to be my problem. I got ninety-nine problems, but Dick, you won't be one.
Love (still),
Me
You have been trying to find your way back into my life again recently and I am just not on you right now. It's not a bad thing nor a good thing, it's just my thing and I'm gon' do what I want to do. You can't tell me who to sock it to. You don't dick-tate anything around here.
I have money problems from being out of regular work for too long. I have emotional problems from being alone for too long. Being away from you - not a big problem. Sometimes you come with big problems. (And the more plentiful you are, sometimes the bigger you are, the worse. More Dick, more problems.) You want too much too soon, you need too much too soon, but you're rarely able to give as much or only able to give under certain conditions - conditions different for me and Vag'. A snake can still slither in the desert but dry is a not desirable condition for us warm blooded, bipedal primates. It is much better when the atmosphere is dripping and jumping with excitement. I haven't come into personal contact with anyone of you who can maintain the proper communication, show the consistent attention, display the right amount of generosity on all levels or all-around growth to help bring about those conditions for me. Until you do I'll continue to share my bed and fill my life with other things, and not be a whore-der trying to be close to or find the right one of you.
If you aren't part of my solution, you're not going to be my problem. I got ninety-nine problems, but Dick, you won't be one.
Love (still),
Me
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
PAYING THE COST
Dear Dick,
I've been away from you for a while now in more ways than one. I still haven't spent time with you in a toddler's age, and I haven't even made the time to write to you. I actually just let you slip from my mind for a while. It was really refreshing - and then I got a call. (exhale)
As bold as I can be I am much too afraid to bare my soul to you over the phone. In any case, baring one's soul may not be easy. It is costly, but it is freeing. I have just finished sending one of you a personal note that puts it so far out there, I no longer bear the responsibility of what happens next. I'd much rather pay the cost of sharing my thoughts than risk the debt of not.
It is possible that you stand the risk of losing more - that darned interest - when you hold things back than what you could lose by giving everything up. You give what you have or stand the chance of owing more by not giving anything.
To the tune of Janet Jackson, I Miss You Much, but it's about way more than just the Pleasure Principal over here, babe.
In the words of Brian McKnight, when the eagles forget how to fly and it's twenty below in July, and when violets turn red and roses turn blue, I'll be Still In Love with you.
Love always,
Me
I've been away from you for a while now in more ways than one. I still haven't spent time with you in a toddler's age, and I haven't even made the time to write to you. I actually just let you slip from my mind for a while. It was really refreshing - and then I got a call. (exhale)
As bold as I can be I am much too afraid to bare my soul to you over the phone. In any case, baring one's soul may not be easy. It is costly, but it is freeing. I have just finished sending one of you a personal note that puts it so far out there, I no longer bear the responsibility of what happens next. I'd much rather pay the cost of sharing my thoughts than risk the debt of not.
It is possible that you stand the risk of losing more - that darned interest - when you hold things back than what you could lose by giving everything up. You give what you have or stand the chance of owing more by not giving anything.
To the tune of Janet Jackson, I Miss You Much, but it's about way more than just the Pleasure Principal over here, babe.
In the words of Brian McKnight, when the eagles forget how to fly and it's twenty below in July, and when violets turn red and roses turn blue, I'll be Still In Love with you.
Love always,
Me
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Unhealthy Diet of Overeating Junk
Dear Dick,
The response I get from you made me reduce my letters to you to once a week, now.
That junk you call yourself feeding me is not nourishing. It's no good for me. I can't grow on that stuff. It's not even tasty. Every now and then you used to serve up something delicious and remembering that has been tempting, but it has never been satisfying. It always left me like people say Chinese food does them: I never got full. Sometimes it even made me sick to the point of feeling poisoned. I would have to stay away from you for long periods to get it out of my system. Then, like an addict I go right back to my love drug of choice: feasting on you. I finally subscribed to my own program to stop overeating.
I know it's unhealthy for me. I can't imagine what is happening to your insides. It's really bad for the heart. You keep trying new dish after new dish, after new dish always thinking 'if you could find just one you like,' not even realizing that you can't be satisfied with just one because you have so many "tastes" in your system. You don't know which one was good for you. Even when you figure out more than one of the tastes you got was all you needed, you've already let good food rot. You didn't keep it hot, you let it sit around lukewarm until it got to room temperature and spoiled. Then you come back for it and wonder why it's bitter. Well, of course it's not going to taste the same. You nibble at it anyway because it looks the same on the outside, it hasn't really changed composition, yet by this time it knows it not your favorite dish by the way it keeps getting served.
It's not that the meal is bad. It's not that it's unhealthy. It's nutritional, filling, and very good for you and conducive to your healthy growth. However, you've been spoiled by having a palette that isn't easy to please and when you decide you want a certain taste perhaps its already past its shelf life. You try putting it in a microwave with all that bad energy - it just comes out rubbery and you call it fake. You might put it over a fire and turn up the heat way too high trying to speed things up and when you overcook it you're mad that it's hard and tough. You can't even chew on it. So you leave it on the counter again knowing you're going to come back for it. If you only knew you could throw out the bad food and start all over with a new recipe and ingredients. But you're hardheaded. You don't listen. You want to do it your way. That's not how it works. Everything has instructions to follow, including being on a healthy diet.
I, myself, have changed my eating habits. I only use snacks for what they're for, and very sparingly. I keep them tucked way back in the pantry or cupboard in the dark where I can even see them so that I won't be inclined to reach for it. I'm feasting on what's good for me; food that will nourish, strengthen, and sustain me for the long haul, and tastes good, too. I'm not even into trying samples of new stuff without having done my research on it. I would love for you to start a new plan with me, but like all addicts, you have to detox when you're ready.
Like Tevin Campbell sang, I'm Ready...or LeVert, Baby, I'm Ready. Unfortunately for you, I'm serving a five course, gourmet meal that you probably can't even digest.
Dinner is served! I wish you were able to dine with me.
Love,
ME
The response I get from you made me reduce my letters to you to once a week, now.
That junk you call yourself feeding me is not nourishing. It's no good for me. I can't grow on that stuff. It's not even tasty. Every now and then you used to serve up something delicious and remembering that has been tempting, but it has never been satisfying. It always left me like people say Chinese food does them: I never got full. Sometimes it even made me sick to the point of feeling poisoned. I would have to stay away from you for long periods to get it out of my system. Then, like an addict I go right back to my love drug of choice: feasting on you. I finally subscribed to my own program to stop overeating.
I know it's unhealthy for me. I can't imagine what is happening to your insides. It's really bad for the heart. You keep trying new dish after new dish, after new dish always thinking 'if you could find just one you like,' not even realizing that you can't be satisfied with just one because you have so many "tastes" in your system. You don't know which one was good for you. Even when you figure out more than one of the tastes you got was all you needed, you've already let good food rot. You didn't keep it hot, you let it sit around lukewarm until it got to room temperature and spoiled. Then you come back for it and wonder why it's bitter. Well, of course it's not going to taste the same. You nibble at it anyway because it looks the same on the outside, it hasn't really changed composition, yet by this time it knows it not your favorite dish by the way it keeps getting served.
It's not that the meal is bad. It's not that it's unhealthy. It's nutritional, filling, and very good for you and conducive to your healthy growth. However, you've been spoiled by having a palette that isn't easy to please and when you decide you want a certain taste perhaps its already past its shelf life. You try putting it in a microwave with all that bad energy - it just comes out rubbery and you call it fake. You might put it over a fire and turn up the heat way too high trying to speed things up and when you overcook it you're mad that it's hard and tough. You can't even chew on it. So you leave it on the counter again knowing you're going to come back for it. If you only knew you could throw out the bad food and start all over with a new recipe and ingredients. But you're hardheaded. You don't listen. You want to do it your way. That's not how it works. Everything has instructions to follow, including being on a healthy diet.
I, myself, have changed my eating habits. I only use snacks for what they're for, and very sparingly. I keep them tucked way back in the pantry or cupboard in the dark where I can even see them so that I won't be inclined to reach for it. I'm feasting on what's good for me; food that will nourish, strengthen, and sustain me for the long haul, and tastes good, too. I'm not even into trying samples of new stuff without having done my research on it. I would love for you to start a new plan with me, but like all addicts, you have to detox when you're ready.
Like Tevin Campbell sang, I'm Ready...or LeVert, Baby, I'm Ready. Unfortunately for you, I'm serving a five course, gourmet meal that you probably can't even digest.
Dinner is served! I wish you were able to dine with me.
Love,
ME
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
You got a Love Jones? I want a New Edition of love. Kick Rocks, preferably Brownstones.
Dear Dick,
You're starting to feel the effects of my distance. I can tell it's really taking it's toll on you. Now you got a Love Jones but all you want is what you want when you want it. If it was really love that would be urgent like a mu... And If It Isn't Love why do I feel this way? Why do we stay on each others' minds? If it isn't love, why does it hurt so bad and sometimes make me feel so sad inside? I'm not looking for just an affair. I want a love that is based on truth, not dare. If You Love Me, say it. If you trust me, do it. If you want me, show it. If you need me, prove it. Actions speak louder than words, so don't just say things I've already heard. I don't want your body without your soul. I don't want a love that will cum here and go. It does not hurt my pride that right now you decide that you are not ready to settle down. But, if you want my heart then it's time that you start to act like your mine in the light and the dark. If you care you gotta show it and true love we'll share.
I heard it through the Grapevyne that you ain't feeling too fine and I hope you that you much feel much better. It happened on the day I left. Since that day you haven't been the best. You had my faith, you had my trust, you had my love. I had to take it back. It didn't work for us. All I really needed was your loving. Now I'm 5 Miles To Empty. You can spare me all your sorry details. I've had enough of all your lies and my silent cries. I need a man who's going to do me right. I need a good man to fill me up. I need a good man to give me love. My heart is running low. Quit being such a dick.
Love,
Me
You're starting to feel the effects of my distance. I can tell it's really taking it's toll on you. Now you got a Love Jones but all you want is what you want when you want it. If it was really love that would be urgent like a mu... And If It Isn't Love why do I feel this way? Why do we stay on each others' minds? If it isn't love, why does it hurt so bad and sometimes make me feel so sad inside? I'm not looking for just an affair. I want a love that is based on truth, not dare. If You Love Me, say it. If you trust me, do it. If you want me, show it. If you need me, prove it. Actions speak louder than words, so don't just say things I've already heard. I don't want your body without your soul. I don't want a love that will cum here and go. It does not hurt my pride that right now you decide that you are not ready to settle down. But, if you want my heart then it's time that you start to act like your mine in the light and the dark. If you care you gotta show it and true love we'll share.
I heard it through the Grapevyne that you ain't feeling too fine and I hope you that you much feel much better. It happened on the day I left. Since that day you haven't been the best. You had my faith, you had my trust, you had my love. I had to take it back. It didn't work for us. All I really needed was your loving. Now I'm 5 Miles To Empty. You can spare me all your sorry details. I've had enough of all your lies and my silent cries. I need a man who's going to do me right. I need a good man to fill me up. I need a good man to give me love. My heart is running low. Quit being such a dick.
Love,
Me
Monday, September 10, 2012
Jesus is Love - NOT YOU
Dear Dick,
I wanna know what love is.
I want you to show me.
I wanna feel what love is.
I need you to show me.
Since we are children of God I want today's letter to focus on just that. Jesus is love, but I want you to show me. I want you to show me Jesus' type of love - the same type of love Christ has for the church - by giving your life for me, and I'll show you the true meaning of submission. I'll allow you to lead me, show me undying compassion, quench my thirst and I'll serve you, man. You pour it out and I'll drink it up. But you must show me perfect love. That doesn't mean I expect you to be perfect, but I expect you to seek God in the areas in which you are least perfect. God's love perfects us. God commands us to love each other as we love ourselves. Based on your actions, well...keep growing.
I love you and I need you or God wouldn't have made me for you. I look forward to having you as a Bible Study partner. Morning Word is the only thing better than Morning Wood. The best part of waking up is when Jesus fills your cup. Be blessed.
Love,
Me
I wanna know what love is.
I want you to show me.
I wanna feel what love is.
I need you to show me.
Since we are children of God I want today's letter to focus on just that. Jesus is love, but I want you to show me. I want you to show me Jesus' type of love - the same type of love Christ has for the church - by giving your life for me, and I'll show you the true meaning of submission. I'll allow you to lead me, show me undying compassion, quench my thirst and I'll serve you, man. You pour it out and I'll drink it up. But you must show me perfect love. That doesn't mean I expect you to be perfect, but I expect you to seek God in the areas in which you are least perfect. God's love perfects us. God commands us to love each other as we love ourselves. Based on your actions, well...keep growing.
I love you and I need you or God wouldn't have made me for you. I look forward to having you as a Bible Study partner. Morning Word is the only thing better than Morning Wood. The best part of waking up is when Jesus fills your cup. Be blessed.
Love,
Me
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